Resolve

I normally never bother with New Years Resolutions. They have always been a case of made today, broken tomorrow. There was the "I am going to keep a personal, private diary for an entire year"...which lasted the grand total of a week and a half. There was the "I am going to do 50 stomach crunches every single night before I go to sleep until I get a washboard stomach!" That lasted two nights before the excuses rolled in...and was ultimately abandoned. There was the "I am going to learn how to knit!" Then I discovered how time consuming it was and how costly wool is and thought again. The "I am going to walk an extra mile a day to school and lose that excess"- which, to give me credit, I did for the remainder of my college days...only I ate more at breakfast and break to compensate and so the positive effects were, sadly, ruined.

But no more.

I am, this year, going to make small but significant resolutions and stick to them, like

1) I am going to sleep properly, instead of surviving on 4-5 hours sleep a night at uni (going to bed at 2 and getting up at 7 everyday cannot be healthy, I am sure). I am going to stop being an insomniac at uni (I've slept normally ie: very deeply, like the dead, at home- it's just at uni that I CANNOT seem to get to sleep and, even though I'm desperately tired, cannot switch my brain off).

2) I am going to be brave and actually cook with eggs! (I have been too scared of poisoning myself and giving myself salmonella...even with lyon brand eggs- ridiculous I know)

3) I am NOT going to let the fact that I am now in a relationship (with my very first ever boyfriend at the grand age of 18 almost 19) wreck my degree- I AM going to focus on my studies and not think about him all day!

4) I MUST do more work this semester and spend two hours per day at the least in the uni library.

5) I must make an effort to a) phone home b) email home c) update blog regularly

6) I must must must do more Mandarin (sadly neglected)

7) I AM going to join some more societies and pack my days as full as is humanely possible to get the most out of my experience.

That is all. I think that's achievable... no problem...

Primark

Yesterday I fought my way through the annual Christmas-Panic hordes in Primark (not the most glamorous place to shop, true, but on a student budget of £25 per week for food socialising and everything Primark is the only place within my reach and who can argue with white shirts for £2.50 and jeans at £6?) Seriously, take a sane person, plonk them in the middle of a hot, packed Primark store, simmer for 30 minutes and voila! A recipe for insanity. Seriously, Primark on a Friday afternoon is not a place you want to be. Trust me on this. The people in there are vultures. Pop a garment back on the rails for two seconds and POOF! It's gone. A suspiciously powdered-to-the-point-of-looking-like-a-tangerine woman was so eager to have the floaty black sequined top I'd picked up off the sale rack and I was so scared of her razor sharp, two inch fake bright pink nails (at least I think they were fake) that I just gave it her out of my basket.

The queues for the changing rooms were horrendous.

But the queues to pay were worse.

The queue had spilled over beyond the barriers and had snaked across the shop floor. It wasn't even that the line was really long: the real problem was that the vast majority were in possession of two or even three basket crammed full of crumpled up garments, PVC shopping bags and plastic shoes. I surveyed in disbelief as one woman, a panicky look in her eyes, grappled with a trolley in which two bundled up children looked extremely flushed and uncomfortable, two baskets brimming to the max AND a pile of additional garments which she'd stacked on top of the pram.

I have never witnessed such a scene.

An hour and a half later, I emerged from the store with my purchases (two pairs of jeans, some shirts and some socks- measly in comparison with everyone elses' bulging five bags) vowing never to return until well after the post-Christmas sales rush.

Maybe I don't miss Primark when I'm in Durham so much after all.

Unmotivated

It's quarter past eight!

I still haven't had a bath!

I haven't packed my suitcase!

I haven't organised my reading!

I haven't tidied my room!

I haven't organised the rubble of papers, library books, music and unwrapped gifts for various people which have unceremoniously been dumped on top of my piano!

I've been home a week and have yet to tackle the mountain of work that needs to be done for uni!

So what HAVE I been doing?

Um.

Sleeping (very important, you understand- I'm making up for all those times at uni where I subsisted on 4-5 hours sleep a night...shocking!)

Accompanying old college friends on quests for bright blonde wigs at Affleck's Palace (don't ask).

Drunk an awful lot of coffee. Chatted an awful lot to people who weren't really awfully interested about "the state of my life".

Wandered aimlessly around the shops under the guise of "christmas shopping" and instead ended up treating myself (lavishly) instead.

Spent a worrying amount of time thinking about a certain person and mooning over my mobile phone, willing a certain person to text me.

Played the piano for the first time in 11 weeks (God, how I've missed my piano)

Fully cultivated the art of being lazy.

Debated whether to have a Bond Party or not for my birthday on the 16th Jan (guys in suits and bowties, girls in glitzy dresses, martinis, canapes, bond themed music...my Mum even bought me a mini roulette table for the occasion)

In short, not much of what I SHOULD be doing.

The plan was to work furiously, to read my way through the stack of novels to be read, to practice my piano diligently, to experiment with new and exciting dishes and become a cooking GENIUS, ready to dazzle my friends with my new found accomplishments when I return to uni.

It hasn't happened yet.

But give me time...next week. Next week I'm going to get my nose down to the grindstone, you'll see. I will. Honest, I will.

But for now it's half eight...and I have a suitcase to pack.

A bath to have.

Reading to organise.

A room to tidy.

A student's work is obviously never done...

Forgive me

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

It has been too long since my last confession blog post.

What has happened?

In short: lots.

I am part of St Chad's choir now, as well as in St Cuth's and it's AMAZING. It really is. I'm having so much fun- we get through a phenomenal amount of music. On Monday Cuth's choir performed in Durham Cathedral, which was truly awe inspiring. So we got dressed in formal clothes- complete with gowns! - to give the service (St Cuths is a non-gown wearing college so it's rather special when we wear gowns for choir performances). Normally, we practice in Castle chapel (University College chapel- for those of you who don't know, University College is located within an actual castle) which is very pretty, but doesn't compare to the splendour of the cathedral. Afterwards, we were invited to the home of the Principal of St Cuthbert's Society, Roy Boyne, for a glass of wine before we proceded on to Emilio's restaurant to have a meal together. I think that was one of the best nights of my time here in Durham so far. Tonight is Cuths Christmas Formal, so I'm getting all dressed up this evening, wearing a pretty dress and I'm quite excited, as this will be my first ever Formal and I will be singing midway through with the choir too. Tomorrow night is Mandarin and Chad's choir, then Friday is carol service in St Margaret's Church and we're singing in the cathedral again on Sunday. I have been out dancing for the first time in my life, I have made lots of friends in Durham since my time here and feel like I'm bonding with people now, I have had lots of late night intellectual discussions, I have trophied my very first wine glass (!) I have spoken to more people in the shortest amount of time than I ever have before, I have really enjoyed the debating society and I am loving Mandarin (even though it IS really difficult!!) I have met so many interesting people and had so many experiences, even if I really haven't done as much work as I should have done!

Many exciting developments to be sure.

I am returning to Manchester next Thursday, when I will be going back to college to pick up my A Level certificates and catching up with everyone. I will have spent 11 weeks here (almost 3 months, I can't quite believe it). My University experience as a whole is better than I thought it would be.

I never thought I'd say it, but all the anguish of last year, the A Level stress, the Uni applications, the Oxford rejection, the worry over where I was going to end up, all of it... It was all worth it after all.

Regrets? Many. Would I change it? No.